|catching up on LJs...
||[Aug. 21st, 2005|04:31 pm]
the Gong Family
lovely hot afternoon out there today, yet i am too sick to go out there and enjoy it. caught a bug from someone on the plane (most likely) or in lab (less likely). thought i had it under control until the darned thing reared its ugly head at me last night during Tony's wedding reception and lasted til this morning...meanwhile i am catching up on blogs-- realized i had even read Dongch's to the point where everything posted on the page was new to me. as usual i feel a familiarity with most of the things Dongch writes about (except math!), and this excerpt is particularly tantalizing to comment on:|
.... What is the worst feeling in the world:
A sequence of emotions, I'd say, though it mightn't be the worst.
For example, you could be angry at someone only to realize that really, you shouldn't, so suddenly you are angry at yourself but still angry at that same someone (provided you aren't gifted with an exceptionally good "Off" switch for your anger). But nobody likes to be angry at themselves, and not having a good outlet, you might snap at someone or something ..
.. and when regret settles in, you feel both guilty, yet still angry and you have no idea how to dispell it so that things don't get any worse.
oh dude, talk about a bell going off in my head when i read this. i can honestly say that this happens to me so often that it makes me very worried that there is something wrong with me because (i) that must mean that i get angry at people a lot, (ii) that anger is misdirected at people, which must mean that i have a tendency to blame others first when it is actually my own fault, and (iii) it can't be healthy to feel this way too often. in the end, i just end up shutting myself off from interacting with anyone (even Ari) and remove myself from society (listening to my iPod) because when i am mad at myself, i can't pretend to just be ok. i tried to explain this feeling to a few people in the recent past, and all they can conclude is that i am just plain old crazy and that i just think too much. of course, i didn't come anywhere near as lucid as Dongch put it in the above paragraph.
i had thought of putting up this comment on Dongch's LJ, but then again, i thought it would be nice to share this with lae-dae directly.
hope yous all aren't as "crazy" as i am!